Marriage is for Grown Ups

Huzzah! We are married. We are one. We are no longer “living in sin…”

So now what? Everyone warned me about the depression and void that comes after the wedding. “Start planning your anniversary trip immediately!” “Get a new puppy!” “Get pregnant!” (Just kidding, no one has said that yet). Thinking about the end of dress fittings, cake tastings, mimosas with bridesmaids, music selections and parties originally made me a little excited. In fact, I couldn’t wait until I could watch Netflix on the couch again without fear that I was falling behind on our wedding timeline.

But in what came as a shock to me when the big day actually arrived, I discovered that post-wedding depression might actually be a real thing and that all of those former brides weren’t just crazy.

I could feel the moment coming as our wedding night started winding down. The ceremony was over in what felt like seconds, the speeches only took a few minutes, guests were starting to head home as it got late, and what was deemed, “the most special day of my life,” was almost over. Over. Just like that. When the time came to leave the reception in Ben’s glorious yellow jeep, I took one last look at my maid-of-honor and started balling. Not sweet tears of joy, but mascara-smearing and husband-scaring puddles. My attempts at explaining it to sweet, forgiving Ben as we drove away were weak, but I think it was just exhaustion paired with happiness paired with a sadness that my childhood was officially over. I know that we’ve been paying bills, buying our own groceries and living as adults for years at this point, but there was something so sudden and strange about leaving my friends and family as a newly married woman. Marriage just seemed like such a grown up thing to do.

When I woke up the next morning and the airport coffee hit my bloodstream, I realized we were completely prepared for marriage and ready to be “real” grown ups and that my exhaustion-induced moment of fear was fleeting.  The truth is, I will always be Ben’s bride and that night really was just the start of the best times of our life. It sounds painfully cheesy, but that’s all there is when you break it down. Weddings are for God, your friends and your family to help you seal the deal. It’s making a commitment in front of everyone you love and it’s asking them to help you keep your promise to your spouse along the way.

Now that the dress has been sealed and the thank you notes are written (almost!), it’s time to focus on building a family. Building the Jameses and creating a home.


Kristen James


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